Our Scars Tell Our Story

“There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” – Leonard Cohen

None of us are perfect, but we are all beautiful.

Have you ever messed something up so bad that you didn’t think there was ever going to be a way to fix it? Maybe you made choices in your life that you thought were right at the time, only to find that they weren’t? Or you made blatant choices that you knew deep down were not right, but you didn’t care? Have you ever been in desperation? Have you ever felt that there was no way out of the pain that you were in? Have you ever hit the bottom of your soul, only to have the bottom drop even further? If not, I am surprised that you are even human.
As much as the isolation creeps in when we feel we have messed up, or failed in some way, the most painful part is that feeling of loneliness. That feeling of complete despair, as if we are the only one that has ever been through what we are going through. That feeling of hopelessness, and unworthiness can not only freeze us in our tracks, but can propel us to make even more bad decisions if we stay in the place of shame. Shame is an incredibly debilitating emotion, that serves no one. There is a big difference between guilt and shame. Guilt is necessary to our growth, because it is our barometer of right and wrong action, our conscience, or that still, small voice. Shame is what happens when we identify with the guilt as a description of who we are. It becomes our identity, our label, and we begin to live from this place of shame. If we begin to believe we are bad, or we are evil, then naturally our actions will follow that statement, thus perpetuating the cycle of behaviour that is hurting us and others in our midst.
I’m not implying that we all are walking around with guilt or shame all the time, but I would be surprised if you haven’t experienced either of these. I think it is one facet of being human, and a good place to start sorting out how to live truly awake, truly alive. Shackled by shame keeps us dead, keeps us living the lie we keep telling ourselves to who we are. Eventually we can forget that bright-eyed child we once were, who saw life through amazement and wonder. We forget that we are beautiful, scars and all. We didn’t know that in these moments of despair, we have the greatest opportunity to grow, and to heal. When we surrender to the absolute human-ness we possess, and know that everyone makes mistakes, of varying sizes and we will all make mistakes again. We will see the same old story come around for ourselves if we don’t seize the opportunity to know ourselves through these hardships.
Not only can these errors in our lives teach us about ourselves, bring us into our hearts, but the best part about it is that when we do learn and grow from our pain, we have an amazing gift to give someone else. Compassion. We let them know that they are not alone. What we have done has been done before, and someone has suffered as greatly as you are. Others have overcome the guilt and the shame and have become a success in their lives because of it. They have inspired and transformed those lives that were without hope.

So let’s let the light in. Let’s be courageous in our searching for the truth of ourselves. Let’s love ourselves and forgive ourselves of what we have done. Let’s not forget the past, but find a way to give it away. Let’s express with our unique creative voice what our story is. We all have one, and it is uniquely ours, scars and all.

Purpose… 5 Questions That Need Answering

Can I help any of you? Do I have something, anything to offer from what seems like an ordinary life? Don’t we all want to feel that we have something valuable to give? I believe so.

No matter where we have been, or what we have done, or how insignificant we feel at times, we all have more than something to give. We have ourselves to give.

Perhaps your gift to the world was laid out in very obvious fashion early in life. Perhaps you were always exceptionally talented, exception being the focus word. Maybe you have glaring talents and gifts, and your life has just fallen into place in the most extraordinary way.. Or maybe not.

There are you out there where this has been the case. And you ran with it. And you have been blessed. Does that mean that all of the others do not have exceptional gifts? I don’t think so. I believe we all do.

I was taught early on that life was a struggle. It’s hard. You have to work really hard, and then maybe things will work out, or at least you will be able to get by. This didn’t make me very enthusiastic about my “lot” in life. Work hard, struggle, and maybe you will be ok. This was not a very motivating prospect to me… Sounds down right painful and pointless.

I do agree with it though, in certain ways… But I believe the focus was wrong. I agree that life is hard. Yes there will be struggle for all of us at times. But where was the part of the story where I knew that it was all with a deeper meaning, and that the work I would do would be able to change lives? Touch someone. Help someone in need. Be fulfilled not by how much praise I received, but by how I could see the tiny miracles daily by how I chose to live. So again, it was all back to perspective. What angle was I approaching life from?

When I approach life as what I can get out of it, I suffer greatly. It is like the dangled carrot that is always out of reach, and I am starving and my appetite in insatiable. This is so flawed, and would inevitably always lead me to discomfort, resentment, unfulfilled life and emptiness…. So why bother working hard…..

Work is not a bad word. Again I was approaching life’s tasks from the wrong angle.

We have hands that can write, build, create, touch. We have minds that can think, ponder, problem solve, equate. We have emotions that can engage, open hearts, and heal. We have a spirit that is limitless and perfect in its entirety.

So how do you use your gifts?

Are you one of the few whose talent is  so obvious that there is no question to who you are and what you are meant to do? That’s awesome if so… Can you see how you may be able to give even more than just the obvious?

Do you realize that it still takes a heck of a lot of work even with your enormous talent potential? Are you willing to do the work?

Can you differentiate between your dreams and fantasy? Fantasy can lead us astray in thinking we have a gift that has nothing to do with our real talents. Sort out which is which, because if you are chasing fantasy then that is only a self-serving motive, and will never be a true calling for you. I’m sure we have all had a few of those (I guess I’m not meant to be a professional skateboarder after all!)

Do you see the value in the smallest acts of kindness?  The person whose job is to help the elderly, and do the thankless tasks are such gifts to humanity. The guy who decides to pick up litter he sees at the park, the volunteers all around the world sacrificing their time and their lives. There is no such thing as a small gift. A gift cannot be measured. Whether you help one person, or a million, every act of selfless giving is an unmeasurable gift!

So maybe we can dig deeper to ask what can I do today to bring my gifts to the world? This may be in work, in family, with a stranger, every moment of exchange has potential for a life changing moment. We never know what is right around the corner when we come into our lives from a heart centred place.

If you are feeling that your job identifies you, than think again. It’s not your job that identifies who you are, it is your integrity and action that you live by that tells us who you are. It may be that your day-to-day job does change lives in a huge way, or perhaps in a small way, but it all comes back to motives…. What are you living this life for? To make ends meet? Or to change the world?

Music does not identify me. My motives and actions identify who I am.

I believe if our approach shifts to how we are microcosmically affecting the world in our every action, and take responsibility that if what we are doing does not match our morals or ethics and change what we are doing to serve the greater good,  then our needs will always be met, at the very least. And your spirit will be rewarded exponentially, and the world will be a better place because of you. There is nothing insignificant about your life. You are the gift. Live it.

Honesty Will Get You Everywhere

What is being honest? Is it just “cash register honesty?” Selective honesty is what I think we often times practice, which I am not sure is helping us feel connected to each other. I want to talk about the heart honesty, the real deal. I remember when I was younger always feeling like I needed to explain myself to everyone that asked me anything. As if I had a responsibility to tell them whatever they wanted to know about me, or wanted to hear. It took a long time to realise that this is not the case. Because I felt that I must say something, I would sometimes beat around the bush, or make excuses, or plain out LIE to make sure I didn’t offend anyone or leave them hanging. I didn’t’ realise that boundaries were ok, and even more than ok, necessary. Because I didn’t realise that there was a choice in the matter, where I could discern between what was important to share and what wasn’t, I often felt on the spot to say something… Anything… This led to lots of personal confusion and a loss of knowing what the real truth of myself was. I didn’t like hurting other people, or hurting their feelings, and so this choice to always say something was well-intentioned, just misdirected.

When we are confronted with the opportunity to be honest, and it will not unnecessarily injure another, it is important for a secure sense of self to be as honest as possible. It also allows others to feel connected to you, and even know that they also are not alone, and it can open up a vulnerability and closeness that may have not happened ever between people. We all have things about ourselves that are our secrets, or our shadows, however small or large, they are meaningful to us. They can be debilitating, and even instruct us on how to proceed with our lives. This can be a very dangerous road to travel, as it becomes paralysing in its fear, and also can convince us to make choices that we are probably not meant to make. I feel it is important to recognise that we all have this dilemma. We all suffer from our stuff at times, and yet when we are in the darkest moments, we do feel alone, even if we are surrounded by those that we love. It can be terrifying when we are having our own experience that no one is privy to. Being vulnerable, and admitting that we need each other, is hard. We don’t like to feel that we are not strong, or that we are being selfish when really we are only being human.

How nice would this world be if we all felt we were safe to share the truths of ourselves? How do we feel when we have those moments of closeness and bonding with another person? For me it is exhilarating. It can be life changing, inspiring, teaching. I feel a part of something bigger when someone chooses to share themselves with me. I feel trusted. I increase my belief and love in the human connection, and in our highest purpose. I feel empowered. I feel safe. I feel important. I feel that I can hear and that I am heard. I feel that I can also take the risk of true honest closeness, and intimacy, when I feel you also giving of yourself. A shared experience, and a beautiful one at that. So, as I choose to be open, honest, scars and all, I know that I am reaching out to you. I feel that you hear me, and if you choose to be open also, I will always hear you. This is a gift we have to give to each other and ourselves. Honesty on a new level, as spoken from the heart, not out of fear of being caught, but out of courage that we all have something to give to the world, in the healing and celebration of life.

How To Practice Contagious Kindness

Have you ever experimented with kindness? Have you ever chosen one morning that TODAY you would treat others exactly how you would want to be treated? When I am in a place of seeing what I can give to others, and how I may bring joy or happiness to them, my life changes. It is so easy when things get tough in this harsh world we live, to ask ourselves, “Why should I even bother?” or “what’s in it for me?” or “how am I going to GET what I need?”or “How am I going to be fulfilled and happy when all these obstacles keep interfering?”
I think many of us have had moments of feeling ON TOP OF THE WORLD, and yet end up falling in a big heap when the next mountain seems too big to climb. Usually when we have openings in our lives, we get the inspiration and motivation to start something, it’s fresh, new, exciting, and then comes the hard work. Oh yeah, work… I forgot that anything done well requires WORK. Even the thing that may be your truest talent still requires a great deal of work and perseverance than if you chose NOT to do it in the first place. If you choose not to do it, then there is NO RISK of failure, because you are choosing to stay invisible and safe… This is also called mediocrity. We ALL have abilities far beyond mediocrity!

For instance, falling in love is easy. We feel that it is exciting to be kind, loving, generous, open, when we first fall in love, and then comes the hard work of maintaining that love. When we see each others imperfections, we begin to realise that in order to STAY in this love, we have to accept the other as they are. We have to practice patience, kindness, and generosity, and we have to accept that at moments, we will be let down. This is life as a feeling, thinking spiritual being in a physical body, I accept that….

Being in the awareness of how our behaviours affect the world around us requires a constant open-hearted approach to life, which is easy to get out of our line of vision when we get too busy, feel let down, and become despondent.

So, maybe the question I want to ask is, why do we look at hard work as a bad thing?
We are designed to work hard, we are fit and capable, and in order for us to truly be generous with our gifts, then we owe it to ourselves and the rest of humanity to do a good job of respecting these gifts and seeing them come to their highest fruition. Isn’t that really what we want as an end result? We want to be really skilled, and really successful, and acknowledged for our gifts, don’t we? I do, and I don’t think that is a bad thing at all, it’s just that the hours of dedication, and the potholes along the way can sometimes make us feel that we really are NOT GOOD ENOUGH, and we stop believing in our gifts. We start to doubt. We lose our motivation and our inspiration.
Back to kindness and giving…. We not only need to remember to practice this kindness of spirit every single day to those around us known and unknown, but we also need to give this to ourselves. This will help us in those dark moments and in those trying times, to keep going. Remembering that with a strong conviction, and perseverance, anything is possible. in fact, everything is possible.
So, today, let’s begin.
1. Give generously of yourself in all areas of life.
2. Practice the art of LOVE everywhere.
3. Start looking at hard “work” as a good thing! (it’s where we get results!)
4. Remind yourself of the truest gifts you have, and practice them A LOT!
5. Ask for help when you need it! Others will benefit by you accepting their act of kindness and generosity, and it becomes a contagion!
6. Don’t be afraid of the obstacles along the way, everyone that has been successful in ANYTHING has had at least as many losses as wins. Trust me!
7. Share your triumphs and failures with others, so they too can find inspiration when they are having a struggle in their life. I promise that they will appreciate it, and who knows what new doors will open from this generous gift you are giving…

We are in one GIANT awesome life boat together, and we ALL are equipped with oars and preservers.

Let’s do this…

5 Simple Steps To Acceptance

When we decide to trust in a higher purpose, and we stop fretting over all the little things that can pile up during any given day, we gain perspective. Isn’t everything in life able to be seen from either the perspective of fear, or the perspective of love? Every choice we make we get to decide if we will be in fear, void of trust and hope, or from the attitude of love, where all things are in harmony, and even when they are not, knowing that in some way, at some point, this too shall pass.
I can be in such a state of fear when I feel that I cannot control all of what’s around me. It is an endless and thankless task, to be master of not only my universe, but yours and theirs also. It leaves me feeling like a failure, and in a constant state of worry, that I haven’t been successful in my ability to control the destiny of all around me. My perspective needs adjusting.
What can I control? People? Places? Things?
That question is the first to answer, and it’s an easy answer, I can only control how I choose to react to people, places and things, but not the objects themselves. This is a great relief, as I still am able to have my “control freak” need met, but from a place of stillness, and understanding of my role in this game. When I relax into this, and look at each experience as an opportunity to practice kindness, compassion, understanding, allowing, I am at peace with me. I can continue to march on to the beat of my drum, and enjoy the resonance of the choir of drums of all of you. Then we are in harmony.
Lets think of some ways that we, today, can choose to act in harmony with each other.

1. Understand that other people have every right to have their feelings, even if they don’t match or meet yours.

2. Learn how to be a better listener to others, it takes practice to listen with your heart instead of a critical mind.

3. Be happy with who you are, and the differences that make you UNIQUE. You are a special gift also, and there is only one of you.

4. When you get frustrated with a situation or a person, take a breath and ask yourself, why am I upset about this? What is it in me that doesn’t accept this “thing” as it is? Sometimes its obvious that someone has hurt you, or let you down, and you do have choices around this. You ned to determine if the situation is toxic to you, or workable. Dig deep to get the answer. It’s not about changing them, but what you can do for yourself that is for the greater good. If someone is toxic, then standing by and allowing toxicity is only enabling them, let go with love.

5. Ask your higher power for more compassion, more acceptance of life and all of its ups and downs. We all go through dark times, and have our shadows, in this we are all the same. When we can truly see the suffering of another, and relate it to our darkness, then we are able to let a little bit of light into our hearts and help each other, and mutually evolve from a place of common ground, and empathy.

Are you choosing to be in acceptance today?

Anyone Up For The Openness?

For so many years I would look around me to determine how I was meant to feel. I would take signals from you to decide what I was. I would be affected by everything and everyone around me, but not in the way of an empath, but of a person who didn’t believe in themselves. I would be confused as to who I was, because of all the change and variation around me. I know that life is a voyage of self discovery, but too often I ran from some obvious truths in myself. I was so good at being the chameleon, that I would forget what I did know to be true. Most of this is based on a need to people please, to be appreciated, to feel welcomed, to feel accepted. These are all important to us humans, because we are in need of love, and we do want to be a part of the combined experience, but it can go too far, when it places one in a position of self deflating and conformity for the wrong reasons. These ideals of needing to be “like” each other, also is what breeds the hate we see when one is confronted with someone who believes or feels differently than themselves.

This fear of differentiation makes you feel unsure of your own footing, and therefore plays out in judgement, and separation. Even if you are seeing things differently, there is nothing but beauty in fact that with an openness, we can accept each other for our differences. The fact that we are all different in certain ways is what makes this human experience so valuable. With all of our individual gifts, we actually can make huge changes in this world. So what is there to be scared of? If someone is challenging your beliefs, then that is good. Then there is room to grow. If we can open our hearts to listen to others, and share openly, we have a chance at revelation, epiphanies, and new questions. To be like a horse with blinders is only a way to keep yourself feeling safe, undisturbed, and it is a dulled existence. I love it when you share with me, what is truly in your heart. I love it when I can share also, without judgement. Every time I have an experience like this, I grow a little in my faith in others. I grow to know myself more clearly, and I get to evolve with you, as we hold hands and help each other. if you will trust me, I will trust you. If you aren’t

able tIMG_6889o fully trust, I can understand and respect you for where you are. We are all in different stages and ages, and our personal experiences map out what our beliefs are at a given time. This, too, evolves and changes as we grow from our experiences, and our ability to share openly and trust each other.
I’m in. Anyone up for the openness?

Moving Your Body, Freeing Your Soul

Have you ever just let yourself go?


Have you ever just moved your body like there is nothing stopping you?

The very freedom in movement can be confronting and overwhelming if you aren’t used to allowing yourself to move. I know. I find it really strange when I do actually allow this to take place, spontaneous movement of my being, whether I am in my living room, out on a mountain top, or doing intuitive yoga movements. It’s sounds a bit cookoo, I know. It feels that way too, until I absolutely let go. The challenge is in how to do that.

I have always had what I call “dancer envy.” I love seeing the fluid movement filled with grace and angst, and the communication without words that can be so cutting and confronting.(Check out Young Soon Kim with  Emily Pope Blackman and you will see what I mean about fluidity coupled with superb technique.) Dancers have had to learn to let themselves go (and a lot of training to support the ability to communicate so brilliantly as well.) But I am sure that they, too, had many moments of complete vulnerability, and nakedness. It is confronting, moving our bodies, as our body language is more revealing than our words ever are.
What we say with our body “language”:

Have you ever gotten a “look” from someone, and then the words that follow don’t seem to match?  Which part of the communication do you trust more? The body language, or the words? This creates so much confusion and mistrust in our daily communication with loved ones down to the guy on the street, when our words don’t match what our bodies are saying. When we communicate freely with both aligned, then others can “hear” what we are saying, and they can trust us.
Most of us aren’t professional dancers, yet we all have a body to express through, to others and to ourselves.
Back when I was a rebellious pre- teen and into my teenage years, I found a love in a “scene” of folks called deadheads. I loved the music of the Grateful Dead, and I especially loved the free expression I felt from the family of followers. I wanted to be able to be free too. I was so bottled up in knots of who I was, and what I thought I should be, what other people thought, and the hippie scene seemed to have many people hanging around that might just accept me for me. I am sure they did, but I didn’t accept me for me, so there it was. I watched the whirling dervishes dance, I saw the Dead Heads spinning (Jay Blakesburg captures this so beautifully, check out his amazing photos!), and I went along with it. At moments I felt alive, really free, but on and off I still very self-conscious, and a bit silly too if I forgot to stay in the moment for a moment!

I knew I had something to release, I had a story to tell, I had blocks in my body, mind heart and soul that needed freeing…

Fast forward to graduate school at California Institute of the Arts. (Cal Arts). I was in full swing with my cello playing, and had become very skilled in performing classical music, and composing/songwriting, but I still had a longing to get in touch with my body. Even after years of yoga, standing still holding in a pose, and pranic breathing, I hadn’t ever truly let myself move. I decided to take a West African Drumming and Dance class with Alfred Ladzepko. I found it very confronting, as we thrust our feet deep into the earth, with full feminine confidence yet it had a hardness and a suppleness at the same time. It was demonstrative of true release, true grounded freedom. I was not ready for that, yet I learned a lot about myself and where in my body I felt self doubting. It was brilliant. Brilliant because I saw where I was lacking in myself. It wasn’t about technique, It was all about freeing myself up!  I’m not a dancer, but I sure did learn a lot from Alfred Ladzepko. Thanks Alfred!
So many years later, I am a mother, having pushed out 3 babies, “un”self  consciously, and have had many life experiences where I should know myself, and I still had locked up emotions,and tension in my body, and knew there was more to me that I should let out.
I stumbled across a Shiva Rae DVD when I was doing my yoga teacher training and she moved us through some yoga trance dance. Wow! It was intense. I felt so locked, and so stiff, and every free movement I tried to do, was accompanied with analysis. I embraced the challenge, and started to incorporate this into my classes with my students. We all learned so much from this, being in a room of people and fully letting go, without even needing the libations of liquor!
Years ago I read something about how we as humans respond best in curved spaces, architectures and dwellings, because the four walls and harsh edges of most architecture goes against our natural fluid body. If we look at the natural world, most things are rounded,or have soft edges even the symmetrical objects in nature have organic shapes and curves. Our body being forced into these unnatural settings dictates our physical and emotional response to these environments. Even if we can’t escape these “walls”, when we become aware of this phenomenon, we can choose to break free of them by actively moving in more flowing ways. I believe this is why moving in these “fluid” ways can feel so confronting, and can seem unnatural, because of what our man-made environment has taught us. it is so healing and I believe necessary to get back to our natural, organic, fluid state by breaking down these physical barriers society has laid upon us.

A story:
When my first son was born, and he came out of my fluid body, I knew of the absolute miracle of birth, and of life. He had been immersed in the waters for nine months in his perfectly safe environment, and then the realities of the outside world confronted him. He cried. My father who was very close to the end of his life really wanted to see our first born child, so we threw him in a baby capsule at less than 24 hours old. I had the thought “how bizarre to go from the organic world to a car seat!” He had no choice, and I could tell he would not have chosen that plastic child constraint if he had a choice in the matter! In this world we live in, we are trained in life to sit at desks, to live in boxed houses, to put our bodies in confined spaces, more like a “round peg (us) in a square hole “.
This is not our natural state. This is not our natural environment. We are meant to be free, and flowing, yet we put all these expectations and rigidity and formality on our lives to “keep up with the Kardashians”, or whoever.
It doesn’t suit us. But I understand, it is the world most of us live in most days of most weeks, which explains why it is so difficult to remember our natural state of flow and movement. This can be adjusted. We just have to learn to remember. If we start moving freely, our intuitive body will start speaking to us, it will remind us of what being natural is, it will guide us to move in ways that support us, from a muscular level all the way up to our crown chakra

The marriage of our spirit to ourselves.

We all are dancers inside, we all have something to express, we all can heal our bodies by listening to our bodies. Like a morning stretch, which is a natural instinct, so is our movement for the rest of the day, if we break out of the confines of our daily lives, and get on with “pumping and grinding” to the universal song and dance.

Asking Questions, Getting Answers

Choices, choices, choices. We all have them all the time, at every corner. No matter where you live, or your particular situation, you have choices. First thing in the morning we get to decide how to start the day by choosing  how we want to think and feel and act to make the most of what we have.
I am one of those people who freak out on having to make decisions sometimes, I can picture each scenario as clearly as I can, and I can get myself all worked up to what choice to make. It’s because I know the power in what I choose, leads to action, which leads to other choices, and each variable can lead to other unknowns. The unknowns are the scary part for me, because no matter how hard I try to analyse the decisions and all the variations of it, I know that there is a lot that I cannot predict. There is a lot of choice making that I need to have some sort of faith to make, and to feel at peace with.
In my past, I fell victim to my choices, like a pinball in the game of life. Just blindly hit and see where it lands. That was when I was reacting, not choosing. That’s when I was leaving everything to chance, and not having any real insight into where my choices may lead. Making choices this way did not serve me well. It inevitably put me in situations that weren’t good for me, and often I didn’t have enough understanding of myself to figure a way out of them either. So, the chips would fall where they may.
When I make choices based on heart, I know that I can be at peace with them, no matter how difficult the choices may be. No one ever promised that I would live a pain-free life if I followed my true heart, I was just promised peace of mind by knowing that my decisions were based on higher objectives. In fact, the choices I make that are from a heart centre, are usually not easy, they are not always what I think I want, because what I think I want is usually filled with only a singular self objective, and this doesn’t serve the planet, or myself in the long run.
If I make decisions that are based on selfish motives, then no matter what, other selves will be hurt. That seems like karmic law. I have responsibility to choose right thinking and right action.

My Feet Follow when I Listen

Whether you believe in a Higher Power, or God, or the Universe, or your Conscience, you have that little quiet voice that can guide you to right choices. When you are making a decision, if you ask a yes/ no question, usually your gut will give you the answer, whether you choose to follow this direction or not, again a choice. A good technique for this is muscle testing – read more here from Christie Marie Sheldon’s  blog “Love or Above.“. The yes/ no questions are helpful in learning to listen to your innate wisdom, your highest self. This technique has been a wonderful tool for me to use when I am spinning with questions and scenarios and variables to a question or decision that needs to be made. I learn to sit quietly for just a moment, asking for insight into the answer I need. I ask for strength to listen. I breathe deeply, and fill my heart centre with love and light, and I ask. Usually a “yes” will fill me with a sense of lightness, of calm, even if the answer is not what my “self” wants to hear. A “no” usually fills me with a heavy feeling, where I can tell that on a cellular level I know it’s a “NO!”
And, then comes the fun part. I get to decide whether to follow my inner hearts wisdom or not. It’s like advise from a loving parent, nurturing and kind, yet not always what I want to hear. When I do follow this wisdom, I am blessed and rewarded with clarity and peace. When I can feel that the answer was directed from Source, and I act accordingly, I feel stronger in knowing that I chose the right path.
One of the main points of focus I have found helpful, is to be sure of what question I am really asking. That sometimes takes a bit of sorting out. Many times what I thought I needed to resolve was not question I really needed answering.When I  get down to the real crux of the matter, I receive real answers.
So as simple as “what should I have for brekky” to “what should I do with my life” all can be answered for us when we are patient, directed, and willing to listen for the answers. Today, let’s  make the choice to listen for the answers, and act accordingly.

My heart leads, and my feet follow.

One Pair Of Stilettos

I  Really Love Clothes!

So I decided to go through my closet today, and purge a few things that I don’t ever wear. It is a funny thing, because I buy clothing sometimes based on what I want , i.e.,  I fantasize scenarios where I may wear a certain outfit, or dress, or shoes, yet it has no real purpose in my life as it is. Why would I need 5 pairs of stilettos when I live in a little village in the hills? Maybe one pair?  Maybe….

There was a time in my life where these would have been appropriate and even necessary, in Los Angeles when I was in the music industry and was going out 5 out of 7 nights, but now?

Not really..

So, I am waffling because I am making a point. I used to have a need for these shoes, but they don’t serve my life now.

But wait, I also purchased them because I was projecting what I wish I had, the fantasy of being swept away in the private jet for a luncheon in Paris. Would you call that manifesting? Hum…

It all depends on what is really important, and for me to remember the importance in my life. It is so easy to want for things that I do not have, especially when I see consumerism all around me, and I had the lifestyle that supported that mentality for many years in LA.

But the bottom line is why do I want these things?

I see that my life is full. I have everything I need, and on a good day, I am content with what I have, and I have gratitude. On other days, I am wanting for more.


So as I sort through my confrontational closet of fantastic clothes, I can see and feel each item as it represents longings I have. These clothes are the ones I am getting rid of, because they serve no purpose in my life as it is. They are only reflections of where I must feel inadequate, where I feel that my life is not enough, not exciting enough, not grand enough, a basic “lack mentality” looking outside of myself to fill the void that I hold internally.

So, as I sort and purge, I am responding to the emotions that are coming from seeing concrete examples of where I feel insufficient.

It is very revealing (not unlike a few skimpy tops that I am parting with!)

I come to a few understandings in myself.

I realise that I lose perspective on my life, and I look to the wrong direction to gain it. My perspective must come from inside myself, as a grounded understanding and self-appreciation/ self-love.

I see that I fill the voids with consumerism, whether it is to mask what is going on inside of myself, or to gain compliments from external sources.

I know that when I am in that place of looking for distraction, I need to check in with my heart, and find the source of my discomfort.

I know that the more I avoid peering into the glass window of my soul, the longer I will stay in that pain.

I know that I have tools to do the work needed to gain clarity back, and gain back my perspective and joy of everyday living.

I enjoyed the feeling of being proactive in checking in with my heart.

I knew it was time to get into my spirit and body centre by doing some yoga and meditation.

I remembered that when I feel self-doubt or am just running on selfish desire, I can take a step back and do something nice for someone else. Getting out of my own way by engaging in selfless tasks and deeds is a fantastic way to align my heart.

I remembered to not take myself too seriously, that life is fun and beautiful and a gift every single day!

I remembered to have gratitude for what I do have, and the gifts that I am given.

I can feel good today from having taken some time to look at areas of my life where I have been “stuck” in my thinking. That is a gift to myself that lasts longer than the latest fashions on the rack.

So, first things first. I got rid of the “old” so I could make room for my “new” attitude of appreciation. My closet is more spacious, I listened to my heart, and I now have room for the important things in my life.

And I kept one pair of stilettos… Just in case.



How To Manifest Anything By Trusting Your Heart

IMG_5716Sleeping in on a Sunday is not the norm for me. I wake up with 50 things floating in my brain, planning, adding, questioning, wanting to make today better than yesterday. Don’t get me wrong, yesterday was fine. I had a nice day, nothing overly spectacular, but a nice day that doesn’t warrant any complaints. But today, I wake up wanting a better day. This is a common and familiar place for me, as I often review my life and look at what I can do to manifest what I want to see in it. Most of what I see is that it is easy to see what I don’t have (lack mentality), what outside obstacles are in place that seem to stop me in my tracks. Obstacles like finances, “if I could buy that thing, then I could get somewhere,” for instance.IMG_5409
I find excuses are the number one obstacle for my success. There are excuses for everything and anything in this life that hold me back from achieving my dreams, but why?
I am wanting to touch on finding out the “why” I create obstacles? The obstacles generally come from a few factors:

1. Not believing in myself enough to begin the manifestation.

2. Being off track with what I want, thinking that something is what I need or want that will not ever truly serve anyone.

3. Having the vision so far out of sight that I lose momentum.
From my experience, when I have fully believed was capable of doing something, it happens. Not instantly, but it does happen. That is how manifesting has worked for me in the past, before I knew to call it manifesting. Believe me, I know it works, as I proved to myself many times in my past by accidentally manifesting something that didn’t work for me, something that wouldn’t serve myself or others, yet I believed it would, it was often misguided. It has been an amazing journey of discovery, seeing how powerful manifestation can be. It is fair to say that we need to be “careful of what we wish for”, as it really is a truism. So, best that we manifest things that really serve us and our fellows.
To begin manifesting, I form a vision of what I want, and then I take daily steps to accomplish that vision. It is simple, yet so easy to forget.
The vision needs to be incredibly clear, detailed and sure. It also needs to be aligned with divine law, so if my vision was something that doesn’t serve others, or is somehow misguided in what is truly already in me, then it is not to be manifested.  So, in looking to my heart centre, I need to ask questions before making requests…
Will this goal/ dream serve others and serve the planet on a whole?
Is this goal/dream aligned with my spirits gifts?
Is this goal clear, focused and sure, or will it fade or wilt with time?
Am I misguided in thinking that I want this goal/dream, and it isn’t really a goal I need to set?
Is this dream realistic, albeit a huge dream?
When I answer these questions, and I am clear to what this goal/ dream is, other questions arise:
What can I do today to start manifesting this dream?
What small goals can I set to eventually reach my bigger goal?
What tools will I need to start the process of realising this particular goal/dream?

IMG_4497I jot these ideas and answers down on paper, with the big dream goal at the top.
I stay focused on this goal, and appreciate the small baby steps of progress daily, which keeps me from getting discouraged.
I allow myself to really enjoy the journey of achievement, instead of only focusing on the end result.

The main realisation with manifesting is that it is a journey. Manifesting is an active, flowing system that is on a continuum, It is not static or fixed, so with it comes excitement, and the unknown.
Manifesting means to allow the variables to exist as it is happening, because none of us know exactly how this is going to happen, the mystery is part of the fun!
Remember to have No Ceiling on your dreams, dream BIG, and then let the Universe do the rest.
Have faith and a belief in the dream, and it is more than possible.
By trusting your heart, you are manifesting your possibilities, gifting you your love filled awesome abundant life.