I Don’t Talk Politics Or Religion…Or Do I?

Politics, Religion, War, Poverty, Injustice, Greed, Apathy, Abuse, Corruption, Closed-mindedness, Fear, Consumerism, Wastefulness, Separation, Denial, Suicide.

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Maurice Sendak’s Classic, Where The Wild Things Are

Those words reflect a sad view of the human condition. What has this world come to? What have humans evolved into? Wilder beasts than the scariest of stories.

“The night Max wore his wolf suit and made mischief of one kind and another.”

To summarise Maurice Sendak’s wonderful classic story, Max’s mother thought Max was being a naughty boy. After going to bed without his supper, Max found himself in a dream like state, where he witnessed wilder beasts than himself, and at some point after teeth gnashing and terrible roars from the Wild Things, with great courage, he asked them to “Be Still!” Max became respected as the most Wild Thing of all. He became the King of the Wild Things. Yet, this sense of purpose was not what he truly wanted in his deepest heart. He only wanted to be accepted, and had the realisation that  his yearning for acceptance was not born out of respect from intimidation and fear, but out of pure, unconditional love. “Max, the King of all Wild Things was lonely and wanted to be where someone loved him best of all.”

All of those words at the top of the page represent the human condition of not feeling loveable enough, not being good enough, not feeling a part of anything, not feeling important enough, therefore leading us to places and beliefs and ways of life that only lead us to the exact state of being that we don’t want, and that we abhor in others, and ourselves, like Max.

If I read that top list of characteristics, I get a nasty feeling in my gut. Surely I am not like that. Surely I am the exception to this malady of humankind. In some ways, perhaps. I don’t start wars, I try not to be greedy, I am aware of what I’m purchasing at the shops, I recycle, I try to self evaluate so that I am not in denial, I am kind to others, and I help old ladies in the shops if they can’t reach something or read a label on a soup can. So, I’m all good, right?

I stay away from politics, and I believe in God, but from a spiritual centred place, not in a “rules and regulations thou shalt not” kinda way. Yet I feel that I am meant to speak about these things that I apparently have nothing in common with.

Mainly, I don’t want you to think badly of me, because I really care about what you think. I don’t want to be judged, because, believe me, I learned a long time ago how to judge you. I was taught early on how to stand in a position of defence … Yet I say I am not a believer in War. So how come I have placed myself in the middle of a war, just by caring too much what you think of me? Obviously this is an individualistic, singular perspective of the internal war, the internal battlefield,  as opposed to the “big time blow ’em up” war involving countries, or even the world at large. What’s the difference?

Is there a difference in the wars we create, and the battles we personally face on a daily basis, and the world’s act of war?

Because I care so much about what you think of me, it can tear me up inside, it can lead to other ailments besides a defensive stance, it can lead to the biggest of all human dilemma, FEAR.

Fear is what drives all of these conditions. Politics thrives on instilling fear into the public at large, making false promises to keep us safe from the bad guys, pointing out who the bad guys are, meaning that we are somehow the good guys. Who gets to decide that? Again, we are judging a whole people from a black and white perspective of good and bad, right and wrong, just because they live somewhere else, and wear different clothes, and build different temples or mosques or churches. So there we are, involved in politics, judging the world based on some fundamental beliefs systems that make us right, and them wrong.
Old School Organised Religion (O.S.O.R. I just made that up!)  has given God a really bad rap over the years as well, because of the authoritarian perspective of separation, of alienation, of original sin (as if we are all bad inherently, and just have to try to become less bad. This is a really flawed theory I think, and only feeds the sickness of the soul we grow to have from our separation from our fellows), of bad and good, and mainly because of the reflection many pose as doing God’s work, in the name of God, as they kill anyone who is not agreeing with them. That is not an act of God, that is an act of man, of MAN IN FEAR.
I am not a politician, and I am not a preacher, and I am not a war monger, but I am a human being. I get to play whatever role in this tragedy, or comedy or masterpiece that I choose… That depends on me. I don’t want to try to get into the politics of the world, I don’t want to try to begin to talk about religion, but I do feel that I can talk about the human condition, because I do qualify for that. As we all do.
So, I am guilty of having greed, I can get into thinking of myself too much, and I can lose focus on the important things when I get wrapped up in what I want, and what I don’t have. We know that the world is still suffering greatly with millions of people in need of basic life essentials and it’s easy to remove this from our awareness when we get busy in our lives, and like a horse with blinders, we sometimes only see whats in our own back yard. The first step for change from where I sit today, is to see that the greed of one culture, is creating and perpetuating the poverty of another. That does not sound “fair” to me, as equal lives on this globe, we all deserve the basic human rights of food and water. So, I get to think about that, and feel that, and see what responsibility I have in all of it.Then I get to act accordingly.
When I can see that we are all the “same” in that we are all unique, individually beautiful creations, then I feel more able to see you, and be able to help you. We are all a part of the tribe of humanity. When I get out of myself and stop focusing on whether or not you are judging me, as I judge you judging me, then I can get in a place of complete love with you. I can feel the connection we share, the life that we both bring, and then can have fascination by the different views you may have to mine. It’s refreshing, and often illuminating and life altering.

So I choose to be open-minded, I choose to be empathic, I choose to be compassionate, I choose to be giving, I choose to be caring, I choose to be proactive, I choose to be a warrior for light and love, justice and equality.

I don’t want to commit slow soul suicide, which is death in itself. I want to make a difference in this world. I want to help this planet be a little better and brighter because of me. I am writing this as all of us. The “I” in this story is Us. Together, united, healing the planet in one smile, one step, one decision, one surrender at a time.

Honesty Will Get You Everywhere

What is being honest? Is it just “cash register honesty?” Selective honesty is what I think we often times practice, which I am not sure is helping us feel connected to each other. I want to talk about the heart honesty, the real deal. I remember when I was younger always feeling like I needed to explain myself to everyone that asked me anything. As if I had a responsibility to tell them whatever they wanted to know about me, or wanted to hear. It took a long time to realise that this is not the case. Because I felt that I must say something, I would sometimes beat around the bush, or make excuses, or plain out LIE to make sure I didn’t offend anyone or leave them hanging. I didn’t’ realise that boundaries were ok, and even more than ok, necessary. Because I didn’t realise that there was a choice in the matter, where I could discern between what was important to share and what wasn’t, I often felt on the spot to say something… Anything… This led to lots of personal confusion and a loss of knowing what the real truth of myself was. I didn’t like hurting other people, or hurting their feelings, and so this choice to always say something was well-intentioned, just misdirected.

When we are confronted with the opportunity to be honest, and it will not unnecessarily injure another, it is important for a secure sense of self to be as honest as possible. It also allows others to feel connected to you, and even know that they also are not alone, and it can open up a vulnerability and closeness that may have not happened ever between people. We all have things about ourselves that are our secrets, or our shadows, however small or large, they are meaningful to us. They can be debilitating, and even instruct us on how to proceed with our lives. This can be a very dangerous road to travel, as it becomes paralysing in its fear, and also can convince us to make choices that we are probably not meant to make. I feel it is important to recognise that we all have this dilemma. We all suffer from our stuff at times, and yet when we are in the darkest moments, we do feel alone, even if we are surrounded by those that we love. It can be terrifying when we are having our own experience that no one is privy to. Being vulnerable, and admitting that we need each other, is hard. We don’t like to feel that we are not strong, or that we are being selfish when really we are only being human.

How nice would this world be if we all felt we were safe to share the truths of ourselves? How do we feel when we have those moments of closeness and bonding with another person? For me it is exhilarating. It can be life changing, inspiring, teaching. I feel a part of something bigger when someone chooses to share themselves with me. I feel trusted. I increase my belief and love in the human connection, and in our highest purpose. I feel empowered. I feel safe. I feel important. I feel that I can hear and that I am heard. I feel that I can also take the risk of true honest closeness, and intimacy, when I feel you also giving of yourself. A shared experience, and a beautiful one at that. So, as I choose to be open, honest, scars and all, I know that I am reaching out to you. I feel that you hear me, and if you choose to be open also, I will always hear you. This is a gift we have to give to each other and ourselves. Honesty on a new level, as spoken from the heart, not out of fear of being caught, but out of courage that we all have something to give to the world, in the healing and celebration of life.

What Am I Scared Of?

IMG_0949I’ve been in a wrestling match for years, right in the middle of an MMA ring….And I can’t win the match! But I keep jumping back in, swinging fists, with no proper skills to actually win, and no insight into the fact that I could just remove myself, surrender to the fight…. Surrender is Key. It is not my fight to fight. Time to take this moment to actually get out of the ring….

What am I scared of? Success? Intimacy? Fear of fear? Fear of failure? The list in endless….It can change depending on what is going on in life, and seems dependant on my emotional “head space”. When I am sailing smoothly, I have less fear. When my life feels organised, I have less fear, when everything around me is going well, I seem to have LESS FEAR.

That is the answer, my sense of well-being is completely dependant on outside circumstances, which is why there is no way to actually overcome fear, as outside circumstances change CONSTANTLY!

So, now what?

Well… I think the answer is in the question ” NOW” and “WHAT?” Isn’t that really up to me to answer?

What action can I do NOW that is completely my choice?

 What is really happening RIGHT NOW, in this instant?

When I get into that space of really being PRESENT for exactly what is going on in this instant, I am not able to spiral out of control in fear – because at any given moment, if I am conscious, alive, breathing, and in my body, mind, heart and spirit, I do KNOW some things are true! I do know that when I think of my future goals, dreams, and anxieties, they are all projected fears, because they are the UNKNOWN. I assume I’m not alone in that.

I’ve witnessed many of us clinging to future goals and plans, 5 year plans, college for the kids, retirement, taking care of older parents, buying that jet plane or boat, those types of things that are a part of designing and manifesting our ideal lives, that is all ok as long as there is perspective on the fact that we still need to surrender control of certain things.

No matter what we plan and how carefully we do so, there will be variables. These variables are what can lead to fear and insecurity as a feeling of LOSS OF CONTROL. No one I know likes feeling out of control completely, as it is a very unsettling feeling, but it also has many variants and layers.
Jumping out of an airplane, do you have control of all variables, not really, and yet this “loss of control” is exhilarating to some, and frightening to others, because “the jump” depicts TRUE SURRENDER, TRUE FAITH, and TRULY being in that PRESENT moment, not thinking of the past or future, just breathing in the air from microsecond to microsecond….
Perhaps when we truly allow ourselves to be out of control (not trying to predict variables, and fixing everything in our power to fix) we finally surrender to the now and fear dissipates.

Letting go of control = Letting go of fear.

One foot in front of the other, doing the next action that needs to be done, and leaving the results alone. Enjoy the flight, stay present, and LET GO.