So Here it is. Another Blog.
and I am Guenevere, the blogger person saying lots of the stuff on this blog.
For me it’s about trusting in something bigger than myself that I choose to call God, which gives my life purpose, as I understand from my personal experiences (I am not here to impose any of my beliefs on you, as we all have our own unique journeys, I just hope I inspire something in you, I hope I help you in some way) and that is, at the end of the day, why and how I know and believe that my life is worth something, and yours is too. I know that my life is pretty dang awesome now, but here’s how NOT AWESOME life was for me for quite a while.
So I’ve always wanted This Awesome Life…I’d looked around and seen other people living their “awesome lives”. I was looking outside of myself for something that I have come to find is an inside job.
I went though some phases of my life where money was plentiful, and did that give me an awesome life? No. I was out of balance.
Having the kids, having the husband, did that give me the awesome life? No. Because I was still looking outside of myself.
They are not going to bring me happiness, they are not going to make this life awesome for me – they can add to it, they can be a part of it, but they cannot make it for me.
So through my soul searching, and often my escaping into distractions, relationships, substances, food, you name it I wanted it, I made many mistakes but gained many different tools as well along the way that taught me a lot about myself.
But the lessons were sometimes forgotten and didn’t STICK.
I could be very “spiritual” for a time being, chasing all kinds of kooky experiences, not really humbling myself in front of God, not being honest about who I really was, I was only enjoying the sensationalism of spirituality, the escaping of spirituality, and therefore was not truly connecting to Spirit which left me spinning in many different directions like a tornado on crack.
Or I’d be physically in great shape, but other aspects of my life would suffer like my (sigh) relationships. Obsessed with self image, the gym, what I was wearing, what you thought of me, what I could get from you, all wrongly directed and self centred false superficiality. I was the perfect Los Angeles experiment. I just forgot about a very important aspect of self- character and integrity!
Or mentally I would be learning in a “book smart” kinda way, acquiring lots of information, but not really looking at what was going on right in front of me, and not applying it to my life. I was not putting into practice what I was learning.
Or emotionally “getting in touch with my feelings,” like having my therapists and psychologists and mentors and confidants yet I never seemed to get ahead in my healing. I was spinning in circles in life. Over and over again, repeating the same destructive patterns that I felt I would never be free of.
Then I woke up one day…
I was given some insight from the Spirit that told me if I BALANCED my body, my mind, my emotions, and kept my eyes on my relationship with God, then I would be healed, and would be able help others to find their gifts, and find themselves in their true essence and beauty.
So this is what has been my journey now, each aspect helping the other – and again realising that This Awesome Life that I am CHOOSING to live has nothing to do with how much money I have, what type of relationships I have, nothing about what I have.
It’s about what I can GIVE.
And that is what makes my life